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Monday, December 28, 2009

The Girls Christmas Gifts!

I can not remember everything off the top of my head, but the girls had a mound of presents this year with the help of others. We were so blessed this year. I felt like this was the first year that Amber actuallly did get things off of her list that she wanted. Same thing with Bailey and MacKenzie. And under do protest from me....They actually got items for me also.

Amber----these are gifts from our Emporia family, Santa, Me, Grandparents, and the sitter:

  • Felicity the American Girl doll. She is beautiful. I believe she came with 2 books and a change of outfit.
  • DS games--Pet Horsze 2, Imagine Fashion Design, and a Super Mario game
  • Hananah Montana jewlery making kit
  • Jammies and books and gloves
  • Coat, socks, a couple of outfits. make up
  • Board games-Electronic monopoly, mouse trap, connect 4
  • Taylor Swift CD
  • Paint by Numbers
  • Card making kit and another craft thingy
  • Lil pet shop ISP
  • earrings

Bailey

  • Itty Bitty baby, with book and change of clothes
  • Jammies and books
  • gloves and clothes
  • Board Games-Lets Go Fishing
  • Vtech vsmile with 2 games
  • barbie with horse and stable
  • mermaid doll for the bathtub
  • Lil pet shops and stuff to go with it.
  • Mickey Mouse clubhouse legos
  • color wonders

Kenzie

  • Lil Mommy Baby
  • A baby that sreams when you take paciy out
  • Baby doll accessories
  • mega blocks
  • books and jammies, mittens
  • socks, sweater, clothes

I know there is a bit more for them but I cant remember everything. They love all their gifts. they were all so tickled.

The Last Work Week of the Year

To begins my last work week of 2009. As i sit here talking about our holiday, I am reminded that things are new and fresh. New life, New year, new goals.

This is where I want to be!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

My First Separated Christmas

I knew this holiday was not going to be easy, but I went into it with a positive attitude.

He came over on Christmas Eve to see the girls, brought them gifts...Stayed for a while. He actually did more harm than good. He has not seen them since Thanksgiving weekend. And his schedule has been such that he has not called them much either.

What is happening is his oldest daughter is dying on the inside and now the outside. Over the past 2 days I have seen the sadness in her eyes. So much of it that i have seriously doubted if I did the right thing by leaving him.

I know that I was doing it basically all alone as it was, but at least at times there was someone there for me to cry on his shoulder and hug me. I miss stupid things like that. ANother adult/parent around so that I was not always the bad person or mean person in the house.

But the things that were going wrong so out numbered the few good things in our marriage that would at time go right. For example: I am very much all about the kids...and our relationship, he was all about himself, would work but lacking in the goal department.

Tonight I am struggling...between a sick baby that I can't seem to get her better to a 9 year old that hates the world. Tonight I am dying on the inside. The hurt is strong and its bad. I hurt so much I want to die. I hurt because I feel like all I am doing is causing more pain than am doing good.

This week is supposed to be about the birth of Jesus....and I am trying to stay focus...but alas when I am alone....I feel like I am dying. I don't know who I am anymore, correction I am a Mom but I don't know who Dawn is anymore. I am dying on the inside.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Snow Please Hold Off

I never thought I would be begging for the snow to not come until after our trip Sunday. I love the snow, but Sunday we are supposed to travel to see my Granny, my cousins and children, and my Aunt and Uncle. I am looking so very forward to it and I hope that the bad weather stays at bay for just a few more days.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Trying to Keep the Christmas Spirit

Today I am trying to keep my head held high and remember the Christmas Spirit, but it is hard.

I know how lucky I am that I am with my girls and not away from them and I know how blessed I am to have people that care about the kids.

I am lonely, exhausted, and sad. Sad that a person that helped create these beautiful little girls, can not call or come see them when they need him and want him. I am sad that a marriage is over. I am exhausted with being the only parent at home and having to do it all and remember it all. I am sad that I don't have more patience with the kids at night when they and I are all cranky.

I am sad that no one calls me at home at night or even on the weekends. That I have to call everyone. Why is that?

What did I do?

Remember Our Military Members and Familes

I received this via email from a friend of mine. I am not sure who the author, but I think it is a wonderful reminder when we are rushing around and stressed and annoyed with family members this year....Remember our Military members who would love to be here with their families.



The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light, I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight. My wife was asleep, her head on my chest, My daughter beside me, angelic in rest. Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white, Transforming the yard to a winter delight. The sparkling lights in the tree I believe, Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve. My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep, Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep. In perfect contentment, or so it would seem, So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream. The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near, But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear. Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow. My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear, And I crept to the door just to see who was near. Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night, A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight. A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old, Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold. Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled, Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child. "What are you doing?" I asked without fear, "Come in this moment, it's freezing out here! Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve, You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!" For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift, Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts. To the window that danced with a warm fire's light Then he sighed and he said "It’s really all right, I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night." "It's my duty to stand at the front of the line, That separates you from the darkest of times. No one had to ask or beg or implore me, I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me. My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December," Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers." My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ', And now it is my turn and so, here I am.. I've not seen my own son in more than a while, But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile. Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag, The red, white, and blue... an American flag. I can live through the cold and the being alone, Away from my family, my house and my home. I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet, I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat. I can carry the weight of killing another, Or lay down my life with my sister and brother. Who stand at the front against any and all, To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall." "So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright, Your family is waiting and I'll be all right." "But isn't there something I can do, at the least, "Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast? It seems all too little for all that you've done, For being away from your wife and your son." Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret, "Just tell us you love us, and never forget. To fight for our rights back home while we're gone, To stand your own watch, no matter how long. For when we come home, either standing or dead, To know you remember we fought and we bled. Is payment enough, and with that we will trust, That we mattered to you as you mattered to us." PLEASE, would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Separating on the Holidays

I did learn a valuable lesson about being nice to him. He will never change. I will not keep the children from him, but we will need to start separating the holidays a bit. I do not want him to think that our new home is also his. I know that may sound harsh but separation and divorce happen for a reason. We can not get along. And I want to move on and up with my life.

Case in point. This week he had a major issue in his life that he stated he would update me on as soon as he found out something. He did not until I called and he stated he had known all day. Just another way for him to control things.

I want us to be happy and to have a really great life, us is me and the girls. He can have his great life with them also, when they are with him.

The Holidays are a wonderful time of year and a lonely time of year, but I am ok with it this year.

Our Thanksgiving

Our Thanksgiving was interesting this year. It was not nearly as stressful as past Thanksgivings had been. Mainly because he was not there until we were ready to eat.

My parents came over and we watched the Macy's parade and cooked our feast. I love the Macy's parade. That is one of our biggest traditions. We ALWAYS watch it. The girls love it and it is so much fun as each girl grows and gets more into the parade. They get so very excited.

Jason came and had lunch with us and the girls got to visit with him.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Our New Life Has Begun

As of November 6, 2009 my girls and I have ventured into our new life. We have moved into an apartment and my husband and I are separated.

Along with a sense of relief over the constant stress of fighting is a sense of security. It helps to live in a place that is not going to fall apart over our heads.

This is a scary journey we are embarking on, but with the great support group we have and our new church....all will be ok!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Cleaning Up Waterside

I am not a big drinker or party person. I am not really a bar person anymore, but I am bothered by a recent decision the City of Norfolk has made.

Waterside has been a big tourist attraction in our area for many years. Anytime any of our family comes to visit we always go there. Over the years it has changed drastically and a good portion of it has turned into bars. The City of Norfolk wants to clean it up and make it a more family oriented place. In the bits and pieces that I have heard on the news there has been a rise in the amount of crime in that area in connection with patrons of the bars. City council voted yesterday to remove their liquor license yesterday. But Joe's Crab Shack, Hooters, and several other restaurants in Waterside will still have their licenses. The bar is not open until late in the evening/night....wouldn't families be home? I know there would be some holiday exceptions....but for the most part you would be at home.

I understand why they are wanting to clean up the area, I just think the approach could be handled differently. Do I have a better option? No, I just think the way it has come about is not ....I can't think of a good word to describe it....

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Two Teeth

MacKenzie now has her 2 bottom teeth. The 4 tops ones are trying to break through!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Amber Can Swim!!!!

This weekend Amber finally put it all together and started really truly swimming!!!! I am so proud of her!!!

Peer pressure can be good in some cases. All her friends that we swim with can all go into the deep end. She got tired of being left in the shallow end. So her friend Raychel encouraged her along with another friend of ours.

There is no stopping her now.

I think Bailey might swim this summer too. She is getting the hang of kicking and doggy paddling in her life vest. She and Noah both want to go into the deep end.

Kenzie---born fish. She has already tried to put her head in the water.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Hobbies

There are so many different things I like to do but just never seem to be able to find time for anymore. I just thought about listing them out for myself.

  • Scrapbooking-I was introduced to this by some friends about 8 years ago. I have not been able to do it for the past 2 years. I really do miss it.
  • Reading-I love to read. We actually listen to books on tape, cd etc at work. I have been introduced to so many new and different authors.
  • Internet-I used to be a MySpace junkie, now it is Facebook when I can find the time.
  • Blogging-I am trying to get back into the grove of it. Have not as much of it be a vent but to be about things that matter to me. Maybe life events, current events in the news etc.
  • Music-I love to sing and I LOVE to do Karoke. Just recently I went with 2 friends to a gay bar to do Karoke. I came in 2nd place!!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Knowing and Doing

Knowing that it is over and doing something to resolve the fact that it is over are two extremely hard steps to take.

I believe in love and I believe in vows. But when the other person strays from the vows it is very hard to understand why and be forgiving. Some things are forgivable some things just are not.

And when you know its over, its over. He needs to grow up. At 32 you should be able to provide for your family, have goals, and stop acting like a teenager. Especially when you have 3 little ones and a wife that is very near the edge.

So, my Mom was right all along. She never wanted us to get married. This is why she got so upset each time we annouced a pregnancy, because her Mommy flags were all going nuts.

I am very thankful that I have good friends that love me and that are very supportive of me.

I just want to be in a happy place. The girls and I have to move out. I have to be able to pay everything since he is not working.

I need to win part of the lottery or something.

I know that I am a strong woman and that God will guide me through. I just hate that I am even going to have to do this and take these steps. But ultimately I have to protect myself and my children right?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Kenzie's 9 Month Check-Up

My baby is growing up so very fast!!!! Yesterday she had her 9 month check-up. She now weighs in at 24lbs 12ozs. She is 28 1/2 inches tall.

She is very healthy!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

How My Life Has Changed Since I Became A Mom!

I saw this on my cousin's blog and thought what a wonderful idea!!!!

  1. Whenever I grocery shop I must always buy: applesauce, chicken nuggets, mac n cheeze, trix yogurt, gogurt, and spiderman gummy snacks
  2. Whenever I go potty at the house I have at least one daughter in the bathroom reading to me because when they were potty training we used to read to them.
  3. When doing dishes, I always have someone standing on a stool to help and at least one more by the sink to dry.
  4. I know the names of all their baby dolls and stuffed animals.
  5. We got through at least 2 boxes of bandaids a month vs. 1 box in a year
  6. I always have really cool pictures and artwork for my desk at work
  7. I have been told I am the smartest adult in the entire world
  8. I could have had the worst day in the world and get to the sitters to pick the kids up and they come running with hugs saying how much they missed me today
  9. I carry emergency nutragrain bars and spiderman snacks in my purse
  10. Instead of crayons, I have an extra few pens and notepads so they can make their "lists"
  11. I do not have to write the grocery list anymore. I can dictate it to Amber who thinks its great that she can help.
  12. I have learned that it is ok to have fun even if you are really busy

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Death and Life

This has been a very rough week for us. My husbands Grandmother had a severe stroke Friday night. She is in ICU on life support and not expected to recover. It is amazing how things like this bring you closer. We have been working together to help his Grandfather. It has been a very heart wrenching experience because she will not be getting any better and the machines are keeping her alive. I have been in there alot with her, talking to her about our kids and then my brother in laws little ones. Telling her what is on CNN and the weather etc. Ironically the Geriatric ICU is on the same floor as the Maternity Wing.

And after dealing with some of the craziness wtih my husband's family...It has given me a new appreciation for the difficulties I have had with my Mom.

My Granny went back into the hospital this week. She is doing pretty good. Thank goodness most of my family is closer to where she is. I know that she is in good hands. The girls and I are going to try and call her tonight to say hi. Hopefully that will perk her up too.

This morning when I was dropping my youngest off at the sitters I learned that one of the other parents had committed suicide. My heart is just broken for the kids, his fiannce, and the family. Not to mention the kids at the sitters. All of us basically hang out and talk especially if the kids are outside. We have all been to parties for the kids around each other etc. Having recently been in that dark place.....I know how hard it is on the kids and I know now that is not the thing to do to solve your problems. It just leaves behind so much guilt and uncertainity.

So today we say alot of prayers for all that need them. Tonight I have to tell Amber about the parent that died.

Much has happened this week. Much has been learned this week. Live life to the fullest and enjoy your family. Make sure they know how much you love them.



Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Things I Miss From Summers As A Kid!

For many summers I would go and spend them at my Grandparents house. I always had a good time with them and with the farmer's family across the street.

I have been thinking about those summers alot lately. My Grandfather and the farmer (Corky) have both passed away. My Granny is with us still. And the farmer's daughter (Randi) and I have finally re-connected after so many years.

Here are some of my favorite memories:

  • My Grandaddy's garden-he grew glads, strawberries, peppers, potatoes, corn, watermelon, tomatoes, green beans, and there are some others. There is nothing like a fresh tomatoe sandwhich in the summer. And I love seeing his glads as the flowers on the altar at his little country church
  • My Granny roasting bannana peppers on skewers on her gas stove. She damn near caught herself on fire once. But the peppers were roasted.
  • Running through the tobacco fields with Randi, when we knew we were not supposed to but heck we were kids.
  • Washing tubs and tubs of green peppers for Corky. We had a blast.
  • Shucking corn
  • Going into town to get groceries or shop or even to see Granny at work.
  • Visiting with my cousins
  • Riding the ferry and going to Jamestown
  • waking up and hearing nothing but the sounds of nature...and the occassional tractor
  • playing on the freshly tarred country road

You ask me why I am remembering this stuff today??? Well I am eating a BLT with a store bought tomatoe and it just is not as good as my Grandaddy's maters!!!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Palm Sunday Pictures


Here is an updated picture of our girls!!!!



This was taken on Palm Sunday evening before going to hear a friends church Cantada. Bay does not wear glass. Those are sunglasses!! Notice her doll? Baby Courtney had to be "dressed" for church too. She is wearing Amber's first easter dress LOL.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Whats been up with Us!

Well, I have not blogged alot lately because I wanted to start doing more positives. And right now there is just not alot of positives with me.

We have been through the stomach flu,and the regular flu. The baby is still trying to get her 2 bottom teeth. My oldest is having issues in school. My middle one is going nuts. The person that I am married too got laid off....So it is just compounded all of the issues we were already having.

I feel like the kids and I are going down this horrible path with no end in sight. I want to see hope from him and a sign that he is going to change but I know it won't. I want to be out of our house and in an apartment that is in a safe place and where he won't be. I can't get ahead. I am tired of playing catch up and am tired of him being behind the eight ball.

I have prayed and prayed and cried and prayed for a sign from God to help me go down the correct path not so much for me but for the well being of my children. I am tired of giving him 2nd chances and 3rd chances...........

I need someone.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Final Offer

So last night I sat him down and said that the only reason I have agreed to no separation was because he stated he wanted to be in our family and be a part of our family. I said it all has to stop now. He needs to think about what he wants and if he is not going to change, stay home, and play an active role in the family life...Stop acting like a single person and staying out til all hours on the weekend...Come home, be with us, help with the kids....If that is not what you want....Then he should pack and leave.

I am over it. Neither the kids or I need it. Considering his overall temperment right now.....I am done. I am tired of waiting to see his mood and when the next axe is going to fall.

I have put up with alot in the 9 years of marriage. ALOT. Much my family has no clue about...especially some recent events.

I know that I am seeing what some of my friends have seen for years. I have finally opened my eyes to it all.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Taking Stock of the Things In Your Life

There comes a point in time where you have to take a long, hard look at yourself and decide if this is the person you want to be and the life you want for your family.

I am not the total person I want to be. This is not the way I want to live my life. And this is not the life I want for my children.

I will change this. I just need to figure out which piece to work on first.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

My Hand

My boss took my stitches out last Weds. It was alot easier than I thought it would be. So far so good!!! With the exception of punching the kitchen cabinet (on accident) last night with that hand......

February = Sick Kids

Not sure what it is with the month of February and my kiddos. It seems we have alot of illness in this one month. I am pumping them with extra vitamins and trying to ensure all get enough rest.

This weekend it was Bay with sinsus and ear infections. Two trips to the peds office for her. And Monday it was Amber...Bad cold for her but we were at the urgent care because we thought it was strepe throat at first.

I am just ready for all 3 of them to be and feel better.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Baby Is 9 Today!!!!

I can not believe that Amber is 9 today. She is so grown up and such a wonderful and caring daughter!!!!!

Happy Birthday to my Big Girl!!!!

My Hand

So Sunday was supposed to be a relaxing day. Bay and Kenzie were still coughing so we decided to stay home from church. Jay took Amber to the boat show. Ashley invited the younger 2 and I over to hang out and have breakfest. We do this many weekends.

I normally go back and forth to switch laundry. Well since it was so since I decided on 1 trip home to get eggs, to open the windows. Well my hands went right through it.

So I am bleeding and screaming. I call Ashley. She comes running.. I wrap my hand and we got to her house. She calls my parents.

Poor Bay was already having a meltdown because Amber left with Daddy. Now PawPaw is taking Mommy and Mommy is hurt.

All in all it could have been alot worse. I only ended up with 2 stiches on the knuckle of 1 finger.

Just is hard to type!!!

Oh did I mention I had to get a tetanus shot???????????

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Can I Order Another Round of Antibiotics Please?

I am very in tune with my Mommy radar! I figured since Bailey was being so contrary that she was getting sick.

Last night we had dual functioning craziness!

Bay was whiny, crank, sniffly, coughing. Kenzie was up screaming straight for 4 hours. It was so bad that when I tried to go potty I had to take her in with me and hold her while I went. Yes, I did it. You have to do what you have to do.

I took them to the sitters, came to work, worked, called the peds office, got appointments, took them in....And GUESS WHAT?????????????????

They both have head colds and double ear infections. And one of Kenzie's ear drums is very, very swollen. No wonder the poor baby was screaming.

So we have stronger antibiotics, one is one tylenol constantly, one is on motrin.

They are back at the sitters, on their meds. I have my cell phone on the ready in case Kenzie gets worse.

Sigh!!!



Monday, February 2, 2009

Our Eventful Weekend

Who says life as a Mom of 3 kids is EVER dull and uneventful?????

Thursday I start getting sick, gotta love it when those sweet little ones share their germs. Along with that, my best friend Erin's water breaks and she goes into Labor.

Friday I have high fever and can barely talk. So the girls and I stay home from work. Amber was already off from school. I am cranky and squeaky all day but we never left the house.

The girls were good for the most part. Bailey put an entire tub of Amber's Hannah Montana lotion in her hair along with VICKS from the vaporizor.

Friday morning Kirsten Sarah Bracy was born.

Saturday it was really cold and I was feeling better, as was Kenzie. The older girls played well until around 3 and then I made the both take naps because they were so cranky. Thinking I would get a nap because Kenzie would sleep....NO she wants to sing to me LOL. I will upload the video tonight or tomorrow. It is really funny.

Sunday we have church, the girls have awanas and I got to go up and visit with Erin and baby Kirsten! And then it was the SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it was the day I learned exactly how heartbroken my oldest is over everything that is going on with Jay. It was the day that I decided either he agrees that we fix it with the help of someone else or we end it.

I think I know in my heart what truly needs to be done. I have contacted a lawyer. I just hate to do it. I hate to admit that its all a mistake. I am terrified of being a single Mom. But it is for the best. Things everywhere have changed. And if he is unwilling to change and move forward and get the help to deal with his past, then for the sake of my sanity and my children's mental well being.....It is time to end the marriage and move on!

I know I can do this. I am a strong woman. I have great conviction and I know that when I am ready to look again, the perfect match is out there for me.

I so wish that Mary Jo was alive right now. She would know the exact thing to say and do to make me understand it all. But I know I have family and good friends that will support my endeavors.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Are their Ear Infections Really Gone?

I am starting to wonder if Bay and Kenzie are getting better? Bay's cough is better but she is still very cranky. Kenzie's cough is worse and is still pulling at her ears. They have been on the amoxicillan for a week now. I am giving it one more day, as the peds office said yesterday....If they are not better in the am tomorrow we are going back.

I wish I knew for sure if Bay is just reacting to all the stress in the house and Jay not being around or if it is truly just that she is tired and not feeling well.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Is There a Lawyer in the Family?

There are days that I wish I had a lawyer in my family that can give me advice and guide me down this wicked ride I am about to go on. I know now in my heart that I am the one that wants it to work, therefore I am the one that is trying. If he truly wanted it to work, he would stay home and try.

Our children deserve better.

I have NO idea how in the world I am going to do this, but I know that it has to be done. No matter how much it hurts and how hard it is. I know that I have prayed alot about it and this is the answer.

I am scared but I can do this, and I will do this for my children.



Friday, January 23, 2009

Good Mommy Award

For the past 2 weeks Bailey and Kenzie have had colds. Bailey has been so cranky the past 4 days that I just knew something was not right. Kenzie also had started waking up in the middle of the night again.

So, yesterday I take them to the doctor. Guess what? Both of them have double ear infections.

Yesterday I felt so smart and like the best Mom in the world because I realized it before they got too sick!!!!

Yeah me!!!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Randomness

Today I am having many, many random thoughts.

  • I am very thankful Jay has found another job, even though it is alot less money, it is a job and he really likes it.
  • I am very thankful that I have a job that I truly love.
  • I am very thankful that we have 3 beautiful girls.
  • I look forward to seeing what President Obama will help America acheive.
  • I am seeking answers to important questions in my life and am using guidance from God to help.
  • I want to be a better Mother our girls. I want to develop more patience and have more actual time to spend with them and do things.
  • I want to change things and make a difference.
  • Effective time management skills outside of the workplace would be a very good idea..
  • A larger home that allows everyone the privacy and space they need from time to time.

Crazy, random things.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Monday, Monday Go Away!!!!

Some days it does not matter what you do or say. The fact that you are trying to be helpful can be mis-understood.

I have a backbone and I will be damned if I am going to sit back and take anyone else's mess. If I am wrong, then I am wrong. If I am doing something to be helpful to get an issue resolved or a question answered then deal with it.

Happy 2009!

Obama Is Almost Here

Everyone is entitled to believe what they want to believe. I personally voted for Obama and I like him. I like to listen to him speak. He has brought hope and something for young Black American males....Look what you can accomplish if you stay in school and go to college and focus on the right path!!! Look how many elderly white Americans told the press they were voting for him! That says something?

Is he the answer to everything? Who knows? Will he fix everything? Maybe or maybe not? But does has any President been able to fix EVERYTHING?

I plan to see what happens before I start critizing him! I am looking forward to all the ceremonies etc. This is a part of our history.

Bailey and the Stairs!!!!

I can tell that our sweet little Bailey Ann will be our child that breaks a bone!!! Yester we were at the neighbors and Bailey was going up the stairs to play with her son. She fell from the top all the way down...I guess more like TUMBLED. She scared the crap out of us. So far the only thing that looks bad is her eye. It has a nice mark under it and it will be a shiner soon!!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Feeling Like It Will Not End

Everyone comes to a point in their lives where they feel like they have hit rock bottom right? I think for me this week has been it.

Things were already tight money wise with his hours being cut, but this first week of him being laid off has been horrible on many levels. Being laid off was not his fault, but choosing to be lazy vs. filing for unemployment earlier when he could have gotten partial benefits, not actively looking for a new job, not following up on job leads, and not obtaining his GED, are all his fault. Playing that is what he had been doing. Finally Friday he wants to do his resume? I asked him 3 weeks ago did he want me to help him and the response was NO, I do not need one. So he had to do it on his own. He did apply for jobs and started working yesterday. Not sure if it will last but he is working.....$3.25 less an hour plus all the money he will put out in gas going to different job sites.

My low came as I applied for Food Stamps and WIC. When I filed all his unemployment stuff online and when I went to my church and asked for help with food.

Yes, there are many across the US that are affected by the economy....But how do you explain to a 3 yr old that you can not get McDonalds dollar menu even though she has been good. How do you stop an 8 yr from fretting about the cost of things when her birthday is right around the corner? Why each year around her birthday does all the crap hit the fan and you are not able to do what you need to do.

Life Changes. 2009 is the year for it. It will be the year that I free myself from those ties that bind me to.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Kenzie's After Church Yesterday

Yesterday was our first Sunday back at church in a while. We all needed to go back. Evidently Kenzie had a great time because all the way home from church yesterday she was in the back seat just making all kinds of baby noises. It was like she had some VERY important things to say. Amber, Bailey, and I were cracking up because if anyone else tried to say something she just got louder and louder.

I do know that the Youth Pastor's daughter was crying alot because she is going through separation anixety so maybe that had something to do with it!!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Bailey Wants a Scary Tattoo!!!

On our commute home everyday we drive by a Tattoo Shop. The window of the shop if very large and is has an image of a dragon and a bunch of swirly things. It is very pretty, but the dragon could be scary to a child. The first time she noticed it she screamed and said the window scared her. Not the story anymore!!!!

Our good friend Ashley just recenly got another tattoo of music notes. She showed it to the girls and it is very pretty. Bailey tells her she wants to get a pretty tattoo also! We both say NO, you have to be 18 to get one. the conversation ends for that day.

Fast forward a few days on the way home from the sitters. She says. " Mommy I like the scary tattoo now. I want to get a scary tattoo" I say..."No you can't get a tattoo until you are 18, you have to be an adult." Bay says " I will get one when I am EIGHT years OLD!!!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Jay Now Officially Job Hunting

The economy has now fully kick my family in the ass. How much can we be tested in our lives? Or is it that we truly have that much bad luck in our lives?

Jay got the official notice today that he is laid off.

I am terrified!

My Day At Patient First

Wow! Saturday was an intersting day!

I have done something to my right arm. I know it is from balancing the baby carrier with the baby in it on my arm. It happened about a month and half ago. I was hoping that it would heal with the assistance of ibuprofen and a brace on my elbow. Alas, it did not so Saturday I decided to go to Patient First. I also wanted a blood pressure check because I had taken my BP at Wal-Mart last week and it was very high.

Not too bad of a wait at Patient First (which is an urgent care facility) I went back, my BP was 156/110 when they took it the first time, 160/111 the second time. So I had my first EKG and a round of chest X-rays. All of those looked fine.

I am now on BP meds again. They also did give me some strong anti-inflammatory drugs for my arm and a referral to an ortho doc.

I am hoping that this latest round gives hubby a clue that ummmm...Things that are going on are not good for my health so he needs to step up his roll in a big way!!!!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Searching for Other Bloggers!!!!

There has to be an easier way to find other blogs other than hitting next?????? Any ideas?

Our First 2009 Task To Get More Organized

Yesterday we cleaned out our shed. I am married to a pack rat!!!! It was not intentional that we were going to clean it out. I went out there with the intention of just getting the Christmas boxes out....Then realized I could not get to them because Jay had put all his Airsoft stuff in front of them. So we spent a while go through everything in the shed!!!

We now have a beautiful, organized shed that we can actually put some more things in!!!! YEAH!!!!