Death and Life

This has been a very rough week for us. My husbands Grandmother had a severe stroke Friday night. She is in ICU on life support and not expected to recover. It is amazing how things like this bring you closer. We have been working together to help his Grandfather. It has been a very heart wrenching experience because she will not be getting any better and the machines are keeping her alive. I have been in there alot with her, talking to her about our kids and then my brother in laws little ones. Telling her what is on CNN and the weather etc. Ironically the Geriatric ICU is on the same floor as the Maternity Wing.

And after dealing with some of the craziness wtih my husband's family...It has given me a new appreciation for the difficulties I have had with my Mom.

My Granny went back into the hospital this week. She is doing pretty good. Thank goodness most of my family is closer to where she is. I know that she is in good hands. The girls and I are going to try and call her tonight to say hi. Hopefully that will perk her up too.

This morning when I was dropping my youngest off at the sitters I learned that one of the other parents had committed suicide. My heart is just broken for the kids, his fiannce, and the family. Not to mention the kids at the sitters. All of us basically hang out and talk especially if the kids are outside. We have all been to parties for the kids around each other etc. Having recently been in that dark place.....I know how hard it is on the kids and I know now that is not the thing to do to solve your problems. It just leaves behind so much guilt and uncertainity.

So today we say alot of prayers for all that need them. Tonight I have to tell Amber about the parent that died.

Much has happened this week. Much has been learned this week. Live life to the fullest and enjoy your family. Make sure they know how much you love them.

Things I Miss From Summers As A Kid!

For many summers I would go and spend them at my Grandparents house. I always had a good time with them and with the farmer's family across the street.

I have been thinking about those summers alot lately. My Grandfather and the farmer (Corky) have both passed away. My Granny is with us still. And the farmer's daughter (Randi) and I have finally re-connected after so many years.

Here are some of my favorite memories:

• My Grandaddy's garden-he grew glads, strawberries, peppers, potatoes, corn, watermelon, tomatoes, green beans, and there are some others. There is nothing like a fresh tomatoe sandwhich in the summer. And I love seeing his glads as the flowers on the altar at his little country church
• My Granny roasting bannana peppers on skewers on her gas stove. She damn near caught herself on fire once. But the peppers were roasted.
• Running through the tobacco fields with Randi, when we knew we were not supposed to but heck we were kids.
• Washing tubs and tubs of green peppers for Corky. We had a blast.
• Shucking corn
• Going into town to get groceries or shop or even to see Granny at work.
• Visiting with my cousins
• Riding the ferry and going to Jamestown
• waking up and hearing nothing but the sounds of nature...and the occassional tractor
• playing on the freshly tarred country road

You ask me why I am remembering this stuff today??? Well I am eating a BLT with a store bought tomatoe and it just is not as good as my Grandaddy's maters!!!!

Palm Sunday Pictures

Here is an updated picture of our girls!!!!

This was taken on Palm Sunday evening before going to hear a friends church Cantada. Bay does not wear glass. Those are sunglasses!! Notice her doll? Baby Courtney had to be "dressed" for church too. She is wearing Amber's first easter dress LOL.

Whats been up with Us!

Well, I have not blogged alot lately because I wanted to start doing more positives. And right now there is just not alot of positives with me.

We have been through the stomach flu,and the regular flu. The baby is still trying to get her 2 bottom teeth. My oldest is having issues in school. My middle one is going nuts. The person that I am married too got laid off....So it is just compounded all of the issues we were already having.

I feel like the kids and I are going down this horrible path with no end in sight. I want to see hope from him and a sign that he is going to change but I know it won't. I want to be out of our house and in an apartment that is in a safe place and where he won't be. I can't get ahead. I am tired of playing catch up and am tired of him being behind the eight ball.

I have prayed and prayed and cried and prayed for a sign from God to help me go down the correct path not so much for me but for the well being of my children. I am tired of giving him 2nd chances and 3rd chances...........

I need someone.